What A Nube

That was embarrassing. Somehow I managed to get halfway through the title of my latest entry and I accidentally hit Ctrl P and posted it. Anyway my original title was
The Mind, Prone To Wander
The mind is a very peculiar thing, don't you think? Take today for example: Mondays are especially busy for me. This one was even more so. I have to juggle class, a meeting, Young Life club, and then school work and research. I gave the talk tonight so most of the day I was trying to prepare for that. But right in the midst of all this chaos, my mind began to go the strangest places. For whatever reason I found myself thinking about funerals. I wasn't thinking about the ceremony so much as the funerals that I attended in high school. I couldn't be sure but 3 funerals in 3 years seems like a lot to me. The first funeral I attended was when I was 16. My parents weren't there, I went with a friend because the funeral was for this guy Travis that we worked with. Needless to say the funeral freaked me out and made me really depressed for a while. It was an open casket, and furthermore to greet the family you had to walk right by it. I was pretty close to losing it. The sight of a body without life in it was too much for me. To see the body without the soul that I had known was a terrible sight to see.
The next funeral was for a friend's dad. Car accident. My buddy Ryan's little brother was learning to drive with the dad and their Jeep rolled. What a tragedy. That really messed up that family. The next year Ryan and I were in the same psychology class which only consisted of 3 projects that were all completely open ended. All 3 of Ryan's projects dealt heavily on the loss of his father. Ryan and I had been playing on sports teams since junior high and so we knew each other decently well. What always surprised me about Ryan was that he would always ask me about things we had talked about months or years prior, wanting genuinely to know how this or that turned out. His memory and the way he showed he cared were amazing. Ryan I just want to say that I'm really proud for how you handled that situation. You had to become the man of the family very quickly and I think you were a great model for you brother and sisters. My heart is with you man.
The last funeral was for another friend's dad. My friend's name was also Ryan, and I know that all funerals are sad, but this one was heartbreaking. Ryan's dad died of a heart attack 1 day before his 44th birthday. Again, Ryan being the oldest instantly became the man of the family, to his 2 younger siblings. I literally have never cried, no sobbed, so much in my entire life. Ryan read this "letter" to his dad at the service and it just broke me down. It still brings tears to my eyes even now writing about it almost 4 years later. Ryan you are very much still on my mind and I can't even come close to knowing what you felt back then, and even now. But one thing is for sure: you were courageous. You stepped up and anyone should be proud to call you a friend. I know that you are still living up to those things you said in that letter to you dad that day.
Even after analyzing my thoughts I can't figure out what made me think of that. It is so strange how things you haven't thought of for so long are at the front of you mind in an instant. What a complicated thing God created when he made us. Well that's all I have on the subject, see you the next time around.