Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Unconditional Love....Not!

-For Meesh-

Unconditional love is a bitch. Sorry but it is. In short I think we really overemphasize God's unconditional love for us and underemphasize that fact that God called us to love others unconditionally, or at least to try. But the problem arises in that we live in a give-AND-take world. Not a give-and-give-and-give until someone spits in your face and then give some more world. Over the past year this idea has been slowly seeping into my head from many interactions with numerous people. I have seen more anger, bitterness, hurt, sadness, and surrender from love not reciprocated, and ungratefulness for love shown.

Perhaps we cannot attain and exact unconditional love, we aren't God afterall, but it also says in the bible to aim for perfection. Please, practice unconditional love. Here is a huge kick in the teeth for me: show unconditional love to someone who has conditions to their love. Rachael, yes Alli has a very conditional love. But if that angers you and wears you out and makes you not want to love her at all, then you'll never understand unconditional love. It is not at all "meet me halfway." You had better go the whole way and more. That is what is required. I'll tell you right now what I'm working on:
- If every time I called you to hang out and you ignored me, I would still call.
- If each time I look towards you and you looked away, I'll still be gazing at you.
- If for the rest of my life I have to pour out every ounce of energy to show you that I love you, and don't get as much as an acknowledgment from you, I would spend that energy in an instant.

That is what unconditional love is after. I'll tell you why it is so crucial that we understand and strive to love unconditionally. If we settle for a love that is based on what we get back, then it will never be a genuine love. It will always be changing, waxing and waning whether our love is being recognized, praised and returned or not. Unconditional love is unchanging. It is the same game plan from start to finish. No matter what you do, or DON'T do, I'll love you. Love till it hurts, and then you'll have a tiny tiny taste of what Jesus did. There is no way it was easy for God to love us in the condition we are in, knowing full well that we will rarely give him thanks for it. That is enough to kill a man, and in Jesus it did. God was so broken that he couldn't bare to see this go on that he sent his only son to die, sacrificed his only kin, so that we who do not even give a shit could be with him. If we resort, if we fall, if we give in to loving any less than how Jesus loves us, then we slap him in the face.

This was brought on by a friend whose blog I was reading. She seems utterly defeated in the sense that she pours out love to any and everyone and it never seems to come back. It broke me to read and feel her pain, but at the same time I wanted very badly to tell her to let go. Loving unconditionally is asking for, and guaranteeing pain. There is nothing that can be done about it. Either accept and work through it or ask how you can save yourself from the pain. Sadly stopping the pain means stopping such unbridled, wreckless love. It is a choice and not any easy one to make day after day. But Michelle I can see that you won't stop loving, I just don't want you to be ruined by this either.