Halted Progress

Ok, I'm cheating again. Here is another one of my favorites that I did not publish. I've never been good at stream of consciousness and this really isn't the best example but I just wrote as fast as I could form thoughts and words. I did not edit this at all, I just put it down and was done with it. Obviously it would sound better if I had taken more time on it, but I think that the good parts stand out more among the sloppy and hastily jumbled words. That's my take anyway. Next post will be fresh, promise.

the days are hard
the nights are long
sometimes it hurts to know you are strong
stronger than me
stronger than i
please tell me why
through this i'm worse the wear
sometimes i wish i could tear
my ties from you
i despise my failure
but this is different
nothing to measure against
writing is my defense
somehow you still overpower me
with no shouts of glee
just quiet nullification
what's my motivation?
to work towards what i can't get
to achieve goals that can't be met
I've exhausted myself and my options
i do not wish to continue, lest i become nauseous
i wish i could cross this
gap that we've formed
i don't even want a reward
only to get over the bridge when we get there
even if it means stripping bare
my soul, my heart
i don't know where to start
i thought i was over this
but i keep painting on this canvas
i can't even recognize the painting
too long i've been idle waiting
i know they say i'm supposed to be strong
but i've never liked walking
inside the lines they draw
everything in me points to you
my clothes are stained with your influence
my skin is scarred and marked by your touch
my mind is filled with your words
and i can't clean my clothes
the scars won't heal
nor can i forget what you said
that's it. i'd better go to bed
i know i'm scaring you with this talk
can we just go for a walk and sort this out
no, and i won't pout
but these thoughts are causing doubt
if you hear them i apologize
will i realize ever this may be over never
at least as long as i am here
as are you, should i leave you and this place
will that get rid, will that erase
what i need to forget: your face