Where Did This Come From?

So this weekend I reluctantly attended a party being put on by the Undergraduate Chemistry Society. Like a party party, with beer and games and so on. I wanted to go and at least see what the students I've been taking classes with for the last 4 years are like outside the classroom. I literally haven't spent anytime with anyone of my fellow chemistry majors outside the university...sad, kinda. On the whole the chem majors are fairly socially normal, and it's not that they aren't interesting, they are just more dedicated to school than I am, these days I care about Young Life more than school. I really had no idea what I was in store for. So there I was: walking in the door to this party and there are people playing quarters, others just chatting. It looked like your average party. I was quickly ushered in to play quarters, then on to beer pong? Who are these people? They haven't ever so much as hinted towards a social life in class yet here I am. So I learned this night that I'm rather good at beer pong, which not exactly something to be proud of, it basically means you drink a whole lot. Finally my team lost(thank goodness) and I was relieved from drinking for a while. I wandered back into the kitchen/living room area, and tried to get a bearing on the conversations and groups that were occupying this space. At the kitchen table they were playing P & A(presidents and assholes) which quite frankly is too complicated of a game when there is alcohol involved, maybe that is the point. I decided against joining that game and sat a nearby couch. It should have been apparent to me sooner but across the couch were two electric guitars, an acoustic, a stand up bass and a piano. I didn't know whose they were but I was kind of in the mood to play a little guitar, so I picked up one of the electric guitars and turned on the amp that it was plugged into. Now I'm a struggling guitarist, that is a sure statement, but when I strummed the first chord, 4 or 5 heads turned immediately with excited curiosity. I never knew it till that night that, but a handful of my fellow majors are pretty decent musicians; one of them is even a music minor. So one jumped on the acoustic guitar, another began plucking the bass, and a couple huddled around the piano for an accompaniment. And we began learning each other's favorite songs and teaching them for the next several hours. There was this unspoken feeling that I could sense between all of us. It was so exciting to know that we shared a common passion that wasn't chemistry. It was fantastic. One of the girls had to leave early and in a slur of words she blurted out: "we'll play again soon, when I'm not so drunk, ok?" This was crazy, in one night, in one hour I went from a polite classmate relationship with several people to planning jam sessions and wanting, yearning to know more about our collective love for music. I can't sing a play very well together, but as the night was nearing an end, I lost my inhibition and went out on a limb. I played one of my favorite Dispatch songs and those around quickly joined in with me to sing. I think I may have gotten a few applause, but it just felt right. In that moment, at that place, with those people I felt right at home. Yet in reality we are still nearly strangers to each other. But this connection with music was real and it was strong. It was quite strange really how the night progressed. I ended up leaving at about 4 in the morning, completely wiped out, completely satisfied. My time will be short lived with some of these people as some will be graduating in the spring, but I hope there will be more good times with them. I hope this bond we formed can last the short while before we move on. That was so much fun. Man I love music

Your Smiling Face

The days are hard
But my eyes are not looking down
You seem so far
But I know you'll come around
Girl don't be shy
I know you can be brave
And if you come it is me that you'll save

Your smile is all that I need
I am restless and I just can't get to sleep
When my days are cloudy
All I want to see
Is your smiling face
Your shining face
Your smiling face

Cause when I look into those eyes
I see love not compromise
And when I see you smile back at me
I know there is hope
I know you will set me free

Your smile is all that I need
I am restless and I just can't get to sleep
When my days are cloudy
All I want to see
Is your smiling face
Your shining face
Your smiling face

Another day and I'm frustrated
I made mistakes and I just can't take it
I feel like I'm losing control
My soul is feeling weak
You are what I lean on
You are what I seek
Where are you I wonder
The outlook now seems bleak

Because when I need you the most, you're not there
Your face is a ghost and you don't care
And I've paid the cost, I've laid my heart bare
Baby meet me there, please meet me there

Because your smile is all that I need
I am restless and I just can't get to sleep
When my days are cloudy
All I want to see
Is your smiling face
Your shining face
Your smiling face


When I finished this I was both excited and disappointed at the same time. I was excited because I think I can actually put this to music and make into an actual song. I was disappointed because this seems so simple/cliche/weak sauce. But maybe writing something simple can help me build on song writing which is something I really want to get better at. We'll see what happens, I don't think I'll be a Garrett Gue any time soon though. He is a jerk for being so talented(from above) but you should check him out.

Clean Slate

Well, here goes nothing. While something tells me that I will most likely be the only one who enjoys these posts, I do give permission for others to read, comment, and learn about me through these. I think to start off my blogging experience I will write a song that I've been mulling over in my head for a while. It has no title as of yet, but I think it speaks for itself.

(guy)So now that we've taken a fall
You will take them all
To the places we would go
And do the things we used to do
Did all that mean anything to you?

(girl)Now when I look at you
You don't see me
No you look right on through
I use these words to calm you
But you just block me out
What am I supposed to do,
Did all that mean anything to you?

(both)Lord we shared so much
But now it hurts to touch
On those memories of bein' in the summer breeze
Was that pleasure worth this pain?
Is there any point in singing this refrain?
Did all that mean anything to you?

(both)I'm not asking you to fess up
But if I ask you one more time
And if your answer is yes,
Well I'll forget this whole mess
So, did all that mean anything to you?

Did all that mean everything to you?
Did all that mean everything to you?

There is just something about writing a song in the heat of the moment I guess you could say. Even though my feelings will inevitably change towards what I was writing about, I would never change the words. They stand as a marker, a milestone in my life. At that moment, they were right and anytime they are visited again they are still correct because they still live in that moment.